Changes

A few weeks back I wrote about finally getting out of my grief and getting involved in life again well for the brief moment in time I thought I had the world by the tail.  I was falling in love with an interesting man and he with me but then life has a way of slapping you in the face and letting you know that it isn’t going to go your way today.  I found out that even though he is an exciting man, loves his country, the job he does for it, along with his buddies and the friends he makes along the way he doesn’t think much about the woman he professes to love.  He wanted me to do something which I felt uncomfortable with and before you go there remember he is out of country and that would be hard anyway he thought it would be okay so I was going to go along with it anyway and then he blows everything out of the mountain when he realizes I couldn’t do it anyway because I wasn’t able to.

First of all he knew I was able because we had this same discussion not to long before and he got upset then too.  I feel like I was on a yoyo with emotions which isn’t a cool place to be so I think I will stay on this side of the living which is a good place to be but I will just continue to be by myself because I’m too set in my ways to even try to date at this stage of my life.  But dang I’m so tired of being lonely and that just entitle the sex that isn’t there anymore but companionship which is what I thought me and this guy was building up for when he came home from being deployed.  He was fun, he had honor, interesting and always kept me guessing about what he was going to do next.  At least I can thank him for bringing me out of the world of the dead and back to the side of the living so thanks so much and I truly hope that you get back home safe and sound.  Maybe someday God will bring you back in my life and you will be different less your way or the highway kind of guy.  I truly wanted it to be right but not at both of us getting hurt.

Well my wonderful bloggers, family, and friends there isn’t more I can add to what I have already added but I will tell you that I hope each and every one of you have a fantastic week that is ahead of us don’t work to hard and be good to your fellow man.  I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes by John F. Kennedy which really has nothing to do with my blog it is just a great quote:   I look forward to a great future for America—future which our country will match its military strength with our moral restraint , its wealth with our wisdom and its power with our purpose.

Thank you again for letting this old lady ramble about with words and thoughts.  Again I wish you a good week.  And for you my dear friend in the military whom I’m sending this to you by email I’m hoping to see you some day in the future I hope that you will be happy and that you will be healthy and safe.  God bless you now and in your future.

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