Changes

A few weeks back I wrote about finally getting out of my grief and getting involved in life again well for the brief moment in time I thought I had the world by the tail.  I was falling in love with an interesting man and he with me but then life has a way of slapping you in the face and letting you know that it isn’t going to go your way today.  I found out that even though he is an exciting man, loves his country, the job he does for it, along with his buddies and the friends he makes along the way he doesn’t think much about the woman he professes to love.  He wanted me to do something which I felt uncomfortable with and before you go there remember he is out of country and that would be hard anyway he thought it would be okay so I was going to go along with it anyway and then he blows everything out of the mountain when he realizes I couldn’t do it anyway because I wasn’t able to.

First of all he knew I was able because we had this same discussion not to long before and he got upset then too.  I feel like I was on a yoyo with emotions which isn’t a cool place to be so I think I will stay on this side of the living which is a good place to be but I will just continue to be by myself because I’m too set in my ways to even try to date at this stage of my life.  But dang I’m so tired of being lonely and that just entitle the sex that isn’t there anymore but companionship which is what I thought me and this guy was building up for when he came home from being deployed.  He was fun, he had honor, interesting and always kept me guessing about what he was going to do next.  At least I can thank him for bringing me out of the world of the dead and back to the side of the living so thanks so much and I truly hope that you get back home safe and sound.  Maybe someday God will bring you back in my life and you will be different less your way or the highway kind of guy.  I truly wanted it to be right but not at both of us getting hurt.

Well my wonderful bloggers, family, and friends there isn’t more I can add to what I have already added but I will tell you that I hope each and every one of you have a fantastic week that is ahead of us don’t work to hard and be good to your fellow man.  I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes by John F. Kennedy which really has nothing to do with my blog it is just a great quote:   I look forward to a great future for America—future which our country will match its military strength with our moral restraint , its wealth with our wisdom and its power with our purpose.

Thank you again for letting this old lady ramble about with words and thoughts.  Again I wish you a good week.  And for you my dear friend in the military whom I’m sending this to you by email I’m hoping to see you some day in the future I hope that you will be happy and that you will be healthy and safe.  God bless you now and in your future.

Advertisements

Hello fellow bloggers, friends and family:  I am sitting here in my room thinking about what to do with the layout of where things should go in it.  But I am thinking about a deeper rooted issues also.  I am not sure if I would call it a major issue yet but it has me thinking so it might become one in the future.  LOL  I have met a guy whom I haven’t met yet at least physically we have been talking now for a while but it is still a short time for me.  He seems to be nice, he is polite and he is interesting which is more than I can say for a few people I have known for 20 years or more.  But sometimes when we are chatting he gets to be silent doesn’t say anything and all of a sudden he isn’t there anymore however I do have to think that he is a soldier and he is in a bad situation so he could’ve had to take measure to be safe.

He sometimes is irritable but that is true with all men and again he isn’t in the safest of places at the moment.  When we first started talking he was stationed in Japan but about 3 days ago I think it was he was deployed over to Africa. Which part isn’t necessary I guess cause I know that I have to be careful with what I say because of safety for all concern.  He isn’t what I expected but he could very well be what I want.  I never expected after the things I found out about him and my brother’s girlfriend to feel this way but the problem with that is how do I know what I’m feeling is real afterall I haven’t met him or him me.  He won’t be back home until December sometime unless of course this deployment has pushed that further out now.  Life sure takes some strange and interesting turns sometimes.  I guess I don’t really want advice I know that I need to be careful because I haven’t met him yet but I do know that he is in the military and he is stationed in Africa where he says he was.  He hasn’t lied about those facts and those are usually the facts that get messed up at least have been in my case.

Now back to my room when you come into in …. the closet takes up a good piece of the left side and then you have a empty space where is where I want to put my bed and then I want to put my desk where my computer sits facing out with my back to the wall so the light from my computer won’t shine out in the hallway at night if I have my door open so I can hear Mom yell if she needs anything but the light won’t bother her.  Plus I can see my “Wall of Fame” better from across the room looking straight out instead of my back to it.

Well I have a new friend her name is Connie actually I have several but she has been my friend now for almost a year and she is losing weight with a new product not for her but for me and I have been following her results which are awesome.  She is a military wife just very nice plus I can talk with her about my military background even other things that I haven’t even talked with my best friend about without any hesitation I believe God put her in my life for a reason at this time.  I don’t know what that is yet she believes that too but we are willing to wait and see just what that might be.  She is one of the bravest people I know.  She spends a lot of time alone while her husband is deployed and the other half of time when he returns being a wife I know that takes gusts and understanding from both side of the line.  I respect both parties so much.  Hang in there Connie God will get us both through my emotional garbage.

I want to wish you all a good week this week.  For Connie and Tony who will be leaving on Friday to visit with family have a wonderful time on your trip and come home rested and have fun with your granddaughter.  Love all of you thanks for listening to this old lady ramble about stuff again.  God bless you all.