Another Year Older

Hello Fellow Bloggers Friends and Family:

On Tuesday October 22,  I will be another year older and I suppose with losing a lot of my friends and my husband and living through a year without them I am wondering if with everything I have lost am I making a difference.  Now don’t worry I’m not wondering because my life suddenly doesn’t make sense and that it isn’t worth living because it is.  I’m wondering because there are at times I wonder if when it is my time to go if people will miss me.  I know the people who I have met and more or less invited them into my life and they have become not only friends but my family they would miss me.  But I’m talking about like people who have called me their friend and I no longer see them or even hear from of course I think that would probably be on my shoulders too because when Carl got really sick I quit leaving the house and hardly ever called people on the phone so people forget you when you don’t make an effort to see each other.  So I suppose in that matter I’m just as guilty for not following up with people and seeing them or at the very least calling them to let them know that even when I don’t see them they still matter to might be better for some of them. 

I have made a lot of friends in my life but some of those friends have gone on their own way and we have lost touch and some of those friends whom have been there when I was in school I lost touch with for a while I’m now seeing and talking with them on Facebook again and with some of those we we’re as close as sisters and brothers and it is great being able to communicate even if it is online.  We are having a family reunion this weekend but I was not able to attend because of another issues which was a lot more serious than seeing my family cause it too dealt with family.  As one of those Sisters told me he was lucky to have me and I am also lucky to have him because he would do the same thing for me.  

I know that I haven’t always been a good friend because I let things pile up and get in the way so that I don’t call and just in or when I do check in I realize that I haven’t called in months instead of days.  Dang it is hell to get old and start wondering about all the stuff that is floating around inside your brain and also realize how many people are no long around whom it seemed like yesterday was just here. 

I guess the reason I am wondering is something my cousin said last night or I guess I should say this morning while we were talking he said do you realize that “my Mom, your Mom and all of the other siblings are all gone as of Father’s Day when my Uncle Chuck died he was the youngest let and he passed on that Sunday.”  I told him yes and with our generation I believe there are a bunch of gaps in ours too.   My daughter’s generation have a few missing already too. 

I guess all in all I have had a good life done a few I’m proud and a few more things I’m not so proud of but all in all my life is great I can’t change one thing but cause if I do I might now have the same friends the same experiences and most of all I know I wouldn’t be the same person.  So with saying all of that I want to thank those people who have been there to lend their shoulders and let me cry on them, let me call in the middle of the night and not been able to make any kind of sense but you still listened to a crazy person on the other end of the line.  LOL  I want to also tell my new friends and old ones alike I love each and everyone of you and also my family……I feel like I’m the luckiest person in the world.   GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS PAST YEAR WITHOUT YOU ALL I WOULD HAVE BEEN A BASKET CASE FOR THE ENTIRE TWELVE MONTHS.

I REALLY LOVE YOU LOTS

RED SOX LADY 35/ LIGHTHOUSE_KAT

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