Well hello out there in cyberspace the New Year is almost upon us and I have just started thinking about my resolutions but I wonder why I ever think about them at all because along about March or April everything goes every which way and there goes my resolutions and I was doing so well too.
One of the things I’m hoping for this New Year is that it would be a better than last year was for me. In May it will be a whole year that my husband Carl has been gone so I just about got all the first out of the way except for his birthday which falls in March. My doctor tells me it will take time before I’m really able to talk about him without feeling like my heart is being cut out without any medicine to kill the pain. But I know the good Lord won’t give me more than I can handle but Lord my arms are a little full here.
The one thing that I think I need to do as far as a resolution is to lose a little weight and start getting out of the house besides just to the grocery store or the library every now and then because I’m becoming a hermit and I don’t want to do that because I have been there and done that. I need to start talking pictures more and doing the things I have enjoyed in the past but have forgotten about. I need to start meeting friends and going to the movie or out to the mall or even just hang out together and catch up with each other.
When the weather gets better up North I need to catch a plane and take Carl to Manchester to his final resting place. He told me that he lived in some old mill buildings which had been converted into condos right across from the Democratic Hall where they have their Democratic meeting in the city when the President election is going on. He said his street is packed all the way up to the Holiday Inn and the beyond. He told me that Marie and him they met on the bridge every morning her coming home from work and Carl going to work and they would stand and talk for about 20 minutes. Don’t you think that is cute?
While I’m up north I would love to go to NYC and check out the sites and just walk around town for a little bit. It has been a very long time since I was in NYC I think that it would be fun and be a tourist for an afternoon. I would probably go to Rockefeller Center and look around. Might even go down and see O’Reilly to see what he is like in person. I want to read one of his books he has written one about Kennedy and also Lincoln both should be interesting reading. That is another one of my goals or resolutions is to read a lot more. Yes Art I can just hear you say sale some more books first. Yes I will because if I don’t sell my books I won’t have money to buy more. I love to read and I love to have books all around me. Maybe in my next life if I come back as a person I should be a librarian that way I can always be surrounded by the smell of books and I can help children and adults both find their love of reading.
I also would like to be living by myself at some stage in my life. I still want to be going to Myrtle Beach with Jen and the girls not this coming summer but the following summer 2014. I want to be living with Jen and the girls but I want to have my own space with a kitchen, laundry room, bedroom, bathroom and an office. I know that isn’t too much to ask for but I know that most apartments and houses in South Carolina doesn’t have basements so that is going to be something that will probably have to be reworked a few times until we both are happy.
I have always loved to live by the water and now that I’m able to do that I’m ready to start doing that again. I know that we won’t be able to live right on the water but maybe near the water will be okay. Did you know that some things are beyond our control? The one thing I know that I can control is my thoughts, my temper, and then on a occasion my mouth which sometimes when I’m angry it says things that I can’t stop. But I’m human and even with that knowledge it is fun to get into a little trouble sometimes don’t you think?
Well I’m having such fun with this paper I believe I will write just a little more. How was everyone Christmas? Mine was hard because it was my second major holiday without Carl and it was very harder because I had already bought his present last year two or three days after Christmas so it was wrapped and in with the tree stuff. I just put it back in my closet and left it wrap as if he will come anytime and pick it up. I don’t understand why I just didn’t give it to my brother or even Rick they both would have loved it but I would have to watch them when they wear it and I think know I know it would be hard for me cause I bought it specially for Carl and they would know that too.
Maybe it would be hard on them too. Plus I think it was the wrong color for both of them. I’m not even sure if Rick would wear it because I’ve never seen him wear anything like it. Mark would and he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable because I gave him a brand new pair of shoes that Carl wore once and Mark has gotten a lot of miles out of. Mark has always gotten Carl’s hand me down shoes because he stands on his feet all night long so he always needs shoes.
Now back to resolutions have you ever thought about why you just don’t finish them? I have been thinking about that and I have come up with several interesting reasons. The first probably being the most logical one: it is that we get lazy. At first it sounds like we need to do this for our health, family, our jobs, our lover, but nowhere in the situation is there us, me, or I. I wonder if that is why it always fails. I have decided in order for my resolutions to work it must be for me not for them, family, work, or anything or anyone else just ME!!!!!!! I think I would have a lot better chance of completing my resolutions instead of thinking as a group but thinking like an individual. Second: not so ideal as the first but just as meaningful and that is after we make all the resolutions we can think of making we realize that we have make too many and there is no way that we can possible get any of them down. We are way over the top and there isn’t anyway that we could even do one of them so not anything gets done. So we don’t even bother.
I hope you have enjoyed this has much as I have. I didn’t think I would enjoy getting into writing again but I am and I do. Thank you for reading and please leave me a comment good or bad I would love to hear about what you think. Happy New Year’s 2013 I hope that your resolutions are going to be completely this year I believe my will be.
May your New Year’s be good, better than last year if it was a bad year, May your ship come in and not pass you at the docks? May your dreams for the New Year come true and your cup overflow with goodness and riches beyond your wildest dreams. Take good care of yourself and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love to all of you across the miles and the little pond,